Online Auction

If you haven't already heard, (please don't delete me as a friend if you've heard about this for the thousandth time) we have less than 2 hours left for our online adoption auction!  We have some really amazing things on here, including gift certificates, cake creations, music lessons, handmade jewelry and accessories, photo sessions, and a brand new ipad2!!  Please check it out.  THANK you SO much to all of our friends and family who've donated items shared this link with others, or bid on the items listed! We are incredibly blessed.

http://prushaadoptionauction.blogspot.com/

HUGE THANKS!

God is at work here!  Since the call for support, we've been so humbled to have collected nearly $1,000 in only a few weeks!  Thank you, thank you, thank you for graciously giving!  It's so exciting to watch our adoption fund-o-meter climbing!  I am excited and know it's gonna happen. Please know how appreciative we are, and amazed at His hand in this! Working on more ideas as we speak...back to work!   :)

Sense of Urgency

This week took us for a loop!  I wanted to keep you all updated.

On Tuesday, I received an email from our international agency (AHI) in South Carolina, asking what progress has been made, because she hasn't heard from me in a while.  I had nothing to tell her, as we have been waiting on Josh's fingerprints since he resent them in September.  This is holding up our entire home study, not the mention the fact that it has to be reviewed and sent to AHI to be approved, before it can be sent to Charleston, WV to be apostilled (a gold seal, which basically notarizes a notary's stamp).  

All this time, I imagine we are sitting well with our funding and documents, because we have everything we need.  I am having the toughest time getting both of my agencies to communicate with each other.  I am relaying the same messages over and over again.  When I called AHI she said these things to me, which rocked my world.

1) You do not have nearly enough funding right now if this adoption were to proceed quickly
2) I've seen no documentation of anything you've been doing, no home study, and this has been the longest home study we've ever dealt with.

She was not happy and told me if I couldn't get a plan of finding $30,000 right now in writing, and couldn't see a draft of the home study, she would have no choice but to give our boys' referral up to another waiting family!

I was surprised, because I thought the money due would be in accordance to their schedule, but didn't realize how quickly the schedule may progress.  We do not have another $15,000 right now.  I was also surprised, because I asked my local agency several times to email the home study to be reviewed, which they haven't done yet.  Now our family is in jeopardy.

Long story short- after many, many phone calls this week, things are looking a little more hopeful.  We have the possibility of opening up a home equity loan, and will be able to borrow money from Josh's parents as a last resort.  I really have faith that it won't get to that.  There are many grants, and even a 0% interest loan we can apply for once we have our home study.  I just hope we don't miss the application deadlines for these things with all the waiting we are doing!

By Friday, I found out that our home study draft was finally sent to AHI, and they have a written financial plan for the $30,000...although we hope the financial plan will change.  :) Yay!  We had faith, and so far God pulled through yet again!

Josh and I have been incredibly moved and excited to have received so many donations from far off friends, and even total strangers.  Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts for supporting us.  Thank you- to our family for making and selling carmel apples for us to get donations.  Thanks to Momma Col's work and church for agreeing to give.  You have been so supportive of us.  This is definitely part of the story, and I am adding it to our Adoption Journey book for our kids!

Thank you to everyone this week:  friends at school for listening to me when I cried, coming to cover my class while I had to make phone calls, family and people at church for listening to me-again, while I cried some more, offering advice, and praying with me when Josh was out of town (yes, he had an impromptu business trip through all of this)!  I really think that's what got me through the week.

In the meantime, we are sending out a plea to all of our friends and family to share our blog and story with your friends and co-workers.  I am not very comfortable with fundraising and asking people for money, so this has been a challenge for me.  I have found that it's easier to talk up my friends and try to ask others for money when it's for someone else, and not myself.  But if I'm not bold in asking, nothing will happen.  If you are reading this and feel called to give, we have a "donate" button through Paypal on our main page, and a new "donate" button on the side tabs with our Love's Journey Facebook page.  I know times are tough and we are nearing Christmas, so please don't feel pressured to give if you are unable.  But prayer is free, and so is spreading our story, which may in turn spread to their friends, etc.

So to recap:

1) pray for us
2) tell your friends about our adoption to see if they may be interested in helping in some way.  And if you start to see fundraiser after fundraiser from us, please don't feel they are all directed at you, but help spread the word through your friends, Facebook, etc.  
3) If you know someone, who has a craft or service they would be willing to donate for a Facebook Silent-Auction, where all proceeds would go towards the adoption, let us know. We have already received some interest in this.  

Thanks!  We love you! Have a beautiful Fall weekend, and pray for orphans everywhere: National Orphan Sunday is tomorrow, November 6th!  :)

Love,

Josh and Jen

Never Running Out of Love

When I envision our boys, I picture them sitting on our laps.  I'm looking into their smiling eyes, and reading them stories.  I’m picking up the pillows they’ve knocked over as they run through the house ransacking the living room while pretending to be pirates.  We’re bandaging up scrapes and bruises.  Josh is playing ball with them in the backyard (while I either cheer them on, or pretend to have some sort of athletic skill).  Call me sappy, but these are the fluttering images I get that help me keep struggling through the paper chase and waiting. Those are our dreams. I am sure those moments will be found, but after our classes and discussions with other first-hand parents, we know these moments will most likely be found in clouds of struggle.  We have been preparing our hearts for things we know we can’t be prepared for. 

God didn’t create life for people to sit back a watch the hard cases suffer.  There is love to be found in every battle.  And one such battle involves my loving and incredible aunt and uncle, and their two daughters. I am sure that without their presence, I would not be who I am today.  I would not have the faith I have right now. Twice in my life they took me in when I needed a place to stay.  They put up with my stubbornness as a moody teenager and helped me deal with the pain of being away from my mom when they didn’t darn well have to.  They gave me my own room, fed me, drove me to school out-of-district, and made me feel like I belonged.  My uncle talked my ear off about history, and our crazy world.  They both taught me how to have integrity, how to see things for what they are and what they aren’t.  Aside from helping me, they have also been a rock in the lives of several other people, who needed someone during their adolescent years. 

A few years ago, Aunt Janice and Uncle Bob decided they finally wanted to become foster parents.  Most people in their 50’s save up for a vacation home, buy a boat, a nice car, etc.  God had other plans for them.  They decided to welcome B (for privacy and safety, I am leaving her name out) into their family, a neglected 5-year old, who would completely alter their lives.  B proved to be the most difficult case my aunt ever endured, after 20 years of teaching and working with young children.  It broke my heart to see her exasperated, and at wits end.  At one point I can even say they were both completely withdrawn from her.  She has exhausted them to the end of their ropes.  But they didn’t give up.  

One year later, B was a changed girl.  After giving her a year-and-a-half of consistency, she had the love, care, and attention she always needed to progress socially, emotionally, and academically.  She even got a new baby sister.  Yes, my aunt and uncle unexpectedly learned B had a newborn sister, and welcomed her as well.  In July, both girls were finally able to call my aunt and uncle MOM and DAD.  They are now officially adopted, and according to my aunt, she and Unlce Bob are tired, but have never felt more full of life and love in their entire lives.  It’s a happy ending, but not without struggle.  B’s behavior issues still exist, although they are no where near as difficult as before.  Her baby sister has a heart murmur, and they are investigating the possibility of surgery.  Both girls will continue to face medical and emotional challenges, but these are challenges they will all face head-on as a family, with full faith in God to get them through, as he always has.  And who knows?  More surprises may be up ahead. 

I love you, Aunt Janice and Uncle Bob.  You inspire me in so many ways, just as you always have.  Thank you for never giving up on me and supporting me through the years.  I know you will continue to do so when I need your help and encouragement with our future boys!  Welcome to the family, girls!  You bring so much life into our family.  We love you.  

What has happened in the past two months, you ask?  Not much, to be honest.  This is the painful process of waiting…and waiting….and waiting.  Waiting for paperwork to go through; waiting for the next step.  We thought we’d be celebrating one milestone down in our adoption journey-our completed home study, only to get word back on our background checks and learn after 3 months that Josh had to resend his fingerprints, because they were not clear enough.  This a little frustrating when I think about how most states have their prints done on computer now, which would have eliminated this issue for us.  We will most likely have to wait another 3 months to hear back from the state of WV again.  Add a new school year and its challenges, and I am already seeing a bitter, less positive mentality taking over.  I don’t like it. 

Let’s try to be a little brighter, shall we?  We’ve met some really neat people through our PRIDE training classes.  I have no doubt these people will eventually make phenomenal foster and adoptive parents…hopefully sooner than the time it will take go get our boys.  Perhaps we’ll be able to sit for them or serve a respite home for them at some point (when foster families go out of town and need someone to watch the kids). I think we see fostering in our future someday down the road.  How can we not, after first-hand of the great need in our area?  If we weren’t already so attached to our boys so much, foster to adopt would be a great option for us.  I firmly believe God is still leading us this way, though.  I can’t describe the connection we both feel towards them.  He hasn’t closed any doors, just providing more opportunity for us to put our faith in him to let him work everything out according to his glory. 

While we are waiting to send off our dossier with our completed home study, we are looking into fundraising options to bring in over $30,000.  We will be applying for grants, but heard they are very hard to get.  We must present all we’ve done to raise money so far in the journey.  God enables us to do more than we think we are capable of. He provides opportunities, but I don’t foresee us digging up $30,000 in our backyard anytime soon.  We have to be more proactive.  We’ve saved about half the cost so far, but have a long way to go.  Here is what’s in the plan so far:

• We are cutting back on our spending
• I’m looking to get more tutoring jobs after school
• Josh is making some prints to sell on Etsy
• We are looking for things to sell on Ebay
• Josh’s sister, Caitlin, is offering family photo sessions for her photography business at no profit to herself.  She is also helping to design and sell shirts. 
• Someone came up with an idea to have a Zumbathon fundraiser, which I LOVE! 

Does anyone else have ideas?  Would anyone be willing to help put together a benefit?  How could we get the word out?  I’m all ears.  Send me your ideas! 

Perhaps I shouldn’t be posting while I’m in this mood, but I’ve had lot of difficult thoughts lately.  In reading and listening to speakers, and searching my own heart, I know God is calling me to something bigger than myself…bigger than the adoption after it’s all said and done, but I’m afraid.  Afraid of my life being flipped from the comforts I have.  I am learning to let go, but afraid of letting it all go. My safe life here in good ole’ beautiful WV, with awesome friends, a great job, a cozy house.  While listening with our  small group to Francis Chan’s audio book, Forgotten God, I was yet again challenged by an idea he presented.  Why do I want GOD?

Why do we want God? For more power?  of course not. I don’t desire to be powerful.  For a better life?  Well no…I don’t seek God in order to have more blessings in my life.  But the more I thought about it, perhaps I do seek God for a better life.  I seek him, because without him, I don’t know how I’d plow through life’s challenges.  Here I am again, asking God to follow ME through life, and not vice versa.  The question was posed, “Do you want God, because you truly want to KNOW him?”  Well, I thought I did.  But REALLY knowing God means knowing his son, and what he went through.  To suffer. To be rejected, To lose.  Lose everything so he can be glorified? Am I able to willingly ask to know him better, knowing full well that I may be asking for great suffering? I’m working on it.  The book referenced one of my favorite passages, Ephesians 3:16-19. It’s basically a prayer asking God to pour his Holy Spirit in us, strengthening us with a power that can only come from him. That we will finally understand his great love for us.  Great verse, right?  So important I’ve underlined the verses, read them countless times and memorized them to use in my prayers.  But as I looked back into my bible, I realized that I’ve failed to see the importance of the verse directly AFTER it, which shifts from the focus on us to a focus on him.  (Ephesians 3:20).

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!

Ouch. 

Do other people on this similar journey feel alone, like I do sometimes?  I’m tired of talking the talk.  I’m ready to talk and struggle with the real thing.  The real letting go. What are we waiting for?  

Thanks for keeping up, and for praying!   We can’t wait to share better news with you. 

Love,

Josh and Jen

Time to Reflect

I found myself hiking solo early this morning after dropping a friend off at the Harpers Ferry train station.  It gave me some much-needed time to think.  This summer I’ve taken many opportunities in those quiet moments to have conversations with myself and God…you’d think I would have had enough by now.  But as it turns out, he I and still have a lot more to say to each other.  

There are many beautiful places in the world, but Harpers Ferry is one of my favorites.  It’s a place of peacefulness, despite it's horrific, bloody history.   It's an old Civil War town with quaint buildings and streets, nestled between two massive rivers.  On this particular morning, I took the opportunity to sit on one of the boulders in the river.  No bikers, no tubers, no fishermen.  Just me, God, jumping fish, and the sound of the crashing rapids. 

Although it feels like we are inching along right now in the adoption process, I have to stop and consider the leap Josh and I have taken in the past year.  Last year at this time, the idea of children was a very, very far thing from our minds.  God has crazy ways of working!  Suddenly, here we are pursuing after three of the greatest gifts he will ever give us. 

I wish we had more than one social/medical report to sustain us for months about the kinds of things these boys are doing, what they’re interested in, and how they may be getting along with each other.  We’re longing to see another dvd, and to see any new smiles or facial expressions they’ve invented since March.  I felt like there was a rush of information in the beginning, now for months…nothing.  I am really hoping that once the agency knows our home study is complete, they will be giving us more updates.  At this time, I don’t feel that we have the right to be so persistent when we aren’t technically “approved” to be their parents yet.    Which is where I find myself doubting this whole situation, and why we were thinking of the boys as “ours” to begin with.  I often feel as though I’m setting myself up for heartbreak. 

But in this particular conversation I had with God today, I am reminded that this process of waiting is a great test of my faith in Him; faith in the miracles he is performing in our lives right at this very moment…even if we can’t see them.  So I have to remember not to doubt God and his plan.  I have to hang on to the three sweet, lovable faces I have in my heart, because that is what motivates me to jump through the hoops, and tackle the endless laundry lists of things we have to do in order to make this happen.  And until He gives us evidence that doors are closing, we have no reason to believe anything different.  This is not even mentioning the question of how we will raise more than $33,000 in order to bring them home.  We are working on some fundraising ideas right now, but at this time, we only have a 1/3 of that amount saved.  Surely this will be another way for God to present his power and greatness as we collect these funds.  Do I think sometimes it would just be easier to grow a family the conventional way?  Of course the thought has crossed my mind a time or two, but this desire God has given us is too great. 

With all this being said, we are still keeping an open mind that anything can happen in this process if God wills it to be.  The foster/adoptive parenting classes we are taking in order to finish our home study will also allow us to welcome foster children into our home if we ever wish to do so.   We have between 40-50 more hours of classes before we are finished with all of our training, and a few more home visits. We have the upstairs bedrooms painted, though they are not finished being decorated.  I promise to show the finished product in months to come.  We have to keep things gender neutral until we know things are more certain, but I will share some of my inspirations for what we will continue doing as we finish the rooms. 

We sincerely appreciate all of the support and encouragement from our family and friends.  We are so blessed to have many people sharing in our excitement of our future family!  If you are willing to pray for us, please pray for things to fall into place, which will allow us to finish our home study by the projected date (mid September). Then we hope to immediately submit our dossier (international adoptions paperwork) to the embassy.  This means Josh (so healthy, he has never visited a doctor in the 4 years we’ve been here!) has to locate a practice and schedule an appointment to get his physical ASAP.  In our area it is not uncommon to have to wait a month or more to be seen as a new patient.  He also has to find the time during work hours to get a TB test.  Please pray that any unknown requirements, classes, or tasks that we need to complete will be revealed to us soon, so we have time to complete them before September.  And of course, please pray for the boys, and the hands that are caring for them. 

Love,

Jen

Heb 11:1 (NIV) Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.


P.S.  I will post about Haiti soon.  I am still adjusting to being home and processing all of the amazing things we were able to experience.  

Preparations, Uncertainty, and Other Things

Well folks, here is my first blog post!  I’m a little nervous about coming up with clever, exciting things to post week after week, but we’ll see how it goes! 

There is still uncertainty about home study being approved, or if we’ll be approved to support 3 children, but Josh and I are still moving ahead, trying to do everything we can to ensure things get processed as fast as possible.  I truly feel with all my heart, that if we don’t pass financially, we’ll be able to foster, or look to adopting only one child at a time, etc.  There will be no completely closed doors, and for that, I can incredibly excited as each day passes.  I can’t get these boys out of my head, thinking about all of things we’ll do together, how their rooms will look, what books we’ll collect for their library…even how we’ll endure the challenges of acclimating them to America, to having family and a house of their own, and entering the public school system.  I can’t wait to start reading Parenting your Internationally Adopted Child, by Patty Cogen. which Janie H. recommended as being a very helpful guide. 

We’re lucky to have such optimistic and supportive friends and family in this process…it’s only the beginning!  I think ahead about what speed bumps we might face before this is all said and done.  For example, I think about our family-friend, Hilary’s amazing adoption progress that is currently threatened to come to a screeching halt (read about it on her latest post @ http://helmshappenings-ethiopia.blogspot.com/).  Please pray for her situation, for the her future baby, and where God will bring Hilary and her family.  I ask that you please pray for our 3, wherever they are, and for their caregivers.  I am also praying for the children our youth group and I will be visiting at the orphanage in Haiti in about 1 week (YIKES), that God will prepare their hearts (and my fragile one) for our time together there.  We will be planning a Vacation Bible School week for them, which I am really excited about.  The last time I was involved in VBS…I was attending VBS! 

The other day, I happened to stumble on a picture of a 13 year old Russian boy.  I couldn’t help but have a broken heart for him.  Not knowing his story and how he became orphaned, I can only assume he’s been an orphan for several years.  What makes it fair that a boy like him and SO many others, go years and years, without being given a loving family?  Why is it fair that I was given a family to belong to, but he isn’t?  As I click away and turn a blind eye, he will most likely go on the rest of his teenage years, without being adopted, because how often do parents seek out adding a troubled teenage boy into their family?  And I know this is just one story, of the millions of children growing up in hardship around the world.  I know God has a plan for everyone, but sometimes his ways are a true mystery to me. 

On another note, Josh and I are waiting on a date for our first home study visit.  We were told it could possibly happen next week, but are not sure exactly.  If it doesn’t happen, it will have to wait until I get back from Haiti and the DR.  We’ve been answering lots of home study surveys and typing our autobiographies, which has caused us to think deeply about what we’re doing, about our future, and our past.  It’s been enlightening, and has so far, helped me put my thoughts in perspective.  We’ve been working like crazy around the house, getting rid of old clutter and furniture, venturing into the 2 upstairs bedrooms we rarely set foot in, and trying to get those spaces to look easily livable.  It’s been a long couple weeks of painting off-and-on in between trips, but we’re almost finished!  I am not going to want to pick up a paintbrush or roll of tape for a VERY long time when this is over!  I was very thankful to get to spend some much-needed time with Sophie, as I used her teen-labor to help with painting.:)  We worked and painted until 2am, but we had a good time and got so much more accomplished than I’ve been getting done on my own.  Josh has been working all day, then coming home in the evenings, fixing things, helping with painting, and doing little needed projects.  I know he’s tired.  Here are a few pictures of our messy house as we’re getting things together.  Hopefully, we’ll have our first home visit next week.  We’re also looking into creative ways to make money for the adoption.  Ideas are readily accepted!   Grants are available, but from what I hear, nearly impossible to get.  We are hoping we might be able to make something to sell on Etsy, and thanks to my friend, Mary, I think we might have a plan! 

Till next time,

Jen

Our 80's bathroom upstairs.  The trim was primed and left that way from the previous owners, so I painted it all green....took about 3 coats everywhere.

                                           First bedroom almost finished!

 

                                           Sophie, showing off her paint scars.

 We ran out of room to put things, so we just piled it all in the center of the room....bad choice.  It was torture to work around.

 Sophie, working hard.  Thanks for your help, girl!

                                          Notice our perspiring, shiny faces.

Beginning of home study projects:  paint color choices, child-proof cabinet locks to be installed, oh-and bills.

We found our old shelf at Josh's house in MI, and Josh repainted it for me to put upstairs.  This ugly
 couch was hiding out upstairs for a couple years.  I cannot WAIT to say goodbye to it!